Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we're making bets on your personal life
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize