How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
His nipple licking is glorious
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
