he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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