Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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