Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
