Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
honey bunches of taint.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize