I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
