My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
