I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
