sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
