I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize