I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
