He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
