yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
