And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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