please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
