You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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