So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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