What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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