Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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