One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
