I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
