i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
