I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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