capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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