I'm drive I can fine osifer
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
