Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
