I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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