I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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