She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
