We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
