1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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