Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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