I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
