the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
