Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
