if you like me you must not know who I am
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
