Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
