So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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