i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
