wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
