I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
