i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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