if you like me you must not know who I am
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize