Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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