so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
