Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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