Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
