I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
