everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
