why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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