You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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