walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
