I hate all girls vehemently.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
