I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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