Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
