i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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