Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
