It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
