girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
