I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Found your dick twin last night
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
