I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
