Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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