Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
