you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Randomize