I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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