I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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